Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
