honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
