sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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