last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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