tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
