Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
did i just pee glitter
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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