remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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