hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
