wanna go halves on a baby?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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