i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
