You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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