How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize