He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
