i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize