Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
