we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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