People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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