at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
