After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
