There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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