Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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