Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
