OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize