So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
