Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
