Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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