oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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