he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
