If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
