Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
