I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
