last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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