I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
