I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
