i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I need to sanitize my soul.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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