I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
