Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize