So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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