piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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