Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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