He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
