remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
