i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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