she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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