It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
