my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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