Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
