I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
