I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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