I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
