So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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