i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
