Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
