Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The ass gains better be worth it
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
